In anticipation...

Hello, and I once again must say sorry for the lapse of posting. The weeks are just flying by, faster than I realize. I am firmly entrenched in classes, and have gotten one major presentation over with. It wasn't too big, but it was worth 30% of my grade, so I spent quite a bit of time on it. I am also now successfully employed at Starbucks (once again). This store is much bigger and busier than the one in Leavenworth, and hopefully I will get to meet lots of new people.

Well, as most of you know my birthday is Friday, and to top it off, as I was born in that great year of 1978 (on the very day Leon Spinks beat Muhammad Ali, in fact) I will be the big 3-0. All things considered, (and this is considering I've been dreading this birthday for 2 years), I'm not freaking out too bad. In fact its given something for to reflect on for my  reflection class' journal (we meet fortnightly--I love that word). Since I don't want to have to re-reflect, but since I am officially a blogger (no matter how lame), I decided to put an excerpt from that reflection here. I'm probably crazy, but for whatever it's worth, here it is, a peek into the crazy nearly 30 world of me:

Now, I know all those things people are saying: 30 is the new 20, 30 isn’t old, age is only a number, etc. The truth is I basically agree with them. I just think that with 30 comes expectations, both on the part of others and the part of me. I’m honestly not sure where I thought I would be at 30, when I was 15. I don’t really think I thought about it. I was a teenager, and in high school, and that was when that was all that mattered (did I actually just write that monstrosity of a sentence?). It’s really just that now, I do think about what I’ll be at 40, and boy it includes a lot of things.  And it’s a lot of want for only 10 years, and since I haven’t managed to put the whole package together in 30 years, at times it is hard to think I’ll do it in only 10. I’m not unrealistic to think that even if I achieve all  of it, I will be 100 percent happy all of time. Of course I won’t, no one is, but I am also enough of an optimist to think that I can achieve "it all". What I’m truly scared about is not only not having this in 10 years, but waking up an realizing it all ain’t going to happen. I’m not there yet, but this birthday is a bit like a whisper telling me to step it up.

The thing is right now, I’m pretty happy with where I am. I’ve worked hard to get to a better place in my life, about how I feel about me and where I am headed. So, in some ways February 15, 2008 will just be like every other birthday I’ve had. I know I am loved and cared for, and on this day its gets to be about you, and that’s ok. I’m sad that I am so far away from most of the people I care about, and that the 30th blow out party I would have had, will have to be a 31st blow out party. But, I’m in London getting a degree, which will help me find a job, a career, in a field I am passionate about. This is the paradox I find myself in. There are times when I just don’t care I am going to be 30. In fact, secretly, I might even kind of like it. I complain about my wrinkles (the ones that are already there because I have been fortunate to be able to laugh most of the time, and the ones that I know are coming) a lot, but sometimes I think they are pretty.

So, there are times when I truly (and truthfully) think I could say, what if I just stopped obsessing about turning 30. Surely, the two years of my worrying about this point have been “more painful” than the actual event will be. I don’t suspect that I’ll feel much different than I did on February 14th. I know that the expectations causing me to freak out, are mostly mine, and the ones that are “society’s” I can’t worry about. I just need to take a deep breath and keep moving forward.

And just to prove I really am the same old Sara, no matter what age, a few weeks ago I fell off the sidewalk and wiped out in the middle of London. In front of a ton of people. I wasn't hurt, just (as usual) a little embarrassed.  Clearly not enough to keep from repeating the story though! Ah, well I think some things will never change.

Alrighty, well I will post again, perhaps a 30th birthday update. We're touring Parliament (Not in honor of my birthday, just because), having some dinner, and going out for drinks.  

I'll miss you all very much.