I have chronicled my past year in London, and have written about the good and the bad. But, I thought it would be nice to "show" everyone why I love London, and why I'm trying so hard to stay here. Whenever I look at them, I am hit over the head with the realisation that I DO LIVE IN LONDON. Sometimes I can't believe it. These pictures won't do London justice, and they certainly can't show the parts that can't be quantified, but I do hope you enjoy them. So, without further adieu, here's London (and Scotland): 2008
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Saying Good-Bye, It's Not Getting Easier
I've recently returned to London after three great weeks in Missouri. I had been almost a year since I was home, and despite a few changes to the landscape, most everything was the same. And it was great. I love how home is always the same for me; I know what my house is going to smell like, I know where the floorboard creaks, and I just generally feel comfortable there. I love seeing my Mom, Dad, and sisters. I love hanging out with my friends who really 'get me,' and I love not having to be so outgoing to meet people. After a year where I struggled in many areas, it was nice to take a break from all the worry. It was basically my own version Cheers, since everybody knew my name. A few people even cried out, "Sara!" when I entered the room.
After the holiday, where I got to see many people, but not everyone, I had to go through the whole process of saying good-bye again. It was not easy. I was just getting used to being home and seeing my family and friends when it was over. Although I wanted to go back to London, and I missed London, it was very difficult knowing it would, most likely, be at least a year before I saw many people again.
I have been thinking, as I re-adjust to being in London, that ever since I went away to school at 18, my life has filled with saying good-bye a lot. First it was to my family and a whole way of life, and then at the end of each year of school, good-bye to all my friends. Then there was that big good-bye to college life and Truman State University. Good-bye to all my friends from various work places when I left, good-bye when I left for (and from) Jamaica, and now again bye, bye, bye. And sometime, I'll probably have to say good-bye to London. And after all of this practice, it's not really getting easier. I still cry when I have to do it, and I still miss people and places, when I'm not with them. All the time, actually, no matter where I am. I'm not depressed about it, I realized this is just how it is. A price, I suppose, for moving around.
Still, there is a reason why I keep doing it, and it has a lot to do with my desire to try new things and push the limits of my comfort zone. While the past year was hard, it has also been an incredible learning experience. It has allowed me to meet people I never would have, and learn so much about myself. The trade-off of course is that the more people I meet and grow close to, the more people I will eventually have to miss. But, I have decided, that I'd rather miss than miss out on something because I was afraid to say good-bye. I think, in some sort of way, the difficulty of saying good-bye is a very real signal that all of this worth it for me. And that all of you who are increasingly scattered around the world, and that I never get to see enough, have helped to make it that way. Because, if it hard for me to say good-bye to you, then the time we spent together really meant something. Each good-bye is a representation of both beginning and ending, but more importantly, all that comes in between, the proof that I truly am making connections, learning, and growing.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
That was the year that was...
2008 was an interesting kind of year for me, one with a whole heck of a lot of fun, and yet also a lot of time feeling pretty low. I entered a new decade, and after freaking out about it for two years, have discovered that it isn’t so bad. I realized that much of the freaking out was based more on what or where I thought I should be at this time in my life. Once I understood that it was simply a milestone on my journey of life I should be glad I was able to have, I felt better. (Yes, I just typed journey of life in all seriousness. I suspect the “anti-cheese” police are now hot on my tail.) In fact, turning the big 3-0, helped me take myself more seriously, and I’ve noticed others do as well. I’m slowly figuring out that getting older isn’t the most awful thing, because while it does come with wrinkles, it also brings experience, confidence, and a better understanding of who you are. Plus, I’ve started to find wrinkles fascinating, which I guess is good, since I’m probably getting new ones daily.
2008 brought the successfully completion of my MA, with grades that weren’t quite what I hoped, probably what I deserved, and good enough for me to be content. I finally got to France, and Paris, and the Eiffel Tower, and the Arc de Triomphe, which I have been dreaming about since sixth grade. I developed friendships with some great people, and with these people I traveled to 5 countries (3 on one trip!) and 2 continents. Two of my best friends from the States came to London, and good times and trip to Scotland were had (the good times included the trip to Scotland). I queued in the line for Wimbledon, sat at Centre Court, and had strawberries & crème. I “flew” the London Eye a few times, started to learn the underground and bus system, and began volunteering with some great people. I moved into a new flat, lucked out in the flat mate department, took some deep breaths and begin to make new friends, and I am still in love with London.
I also struggled a lot in 2008, the first struggle being learning how it is to live so far away from friends and family for so long. Then, in September, after seeing the last of my classmates off, I was really alone. I had to take some chances, go to some places by myself, and trust that there are nice people who will like me everywhere. I also struggled mightily on the job front, sending out over 30 applications, and being rejected by all 30. I have never been quite so financially restrained, nor had this tough of a time finding a job. After all when you are rejected by the industry you worked in for four years, you really start to appreciate the times you had a job, a paycheck, and some financial peace of mind.
I never really make official New Years resolutions, and the ones I unofficially make tend to be of the kind that ask of me to sort of change who I am, what I look like, or how I act. I’ve read many places that most New Year’s resolutions have been broken by the third week of January or so. I suspect this is for many reasons, but probably because people view resolutions, as the chance to become a different person, and that, my friends, will nearly always fail. But, I have decided to make a list of things that I’d like to work on for the next year, things that I already am, or can be (or can have or can do), but that require a little patience, a little hard work, and/or a little being open to new possibilities. So, without further adieu, here is my list of things I’ll be working on:
1) Find a job that I will not dread going to work/can pay the bills with (maybe not in that order)
2) Live within my means and start building up my savings
3) Continue to work to build relationships in London
4) Try and keep my room clean (I think this will be on my list for all of eternity, but I work each year to do it)
5) Take French lessons, or at least listen to French podcasts, to begin my journey back to fluency
6) Write and blog on a more regular basis
7) Travel within Europe this year (obviously dependent on numbers 1 & 2)
8) Work to stay in better touch with my friends not in London
9) Read a few more books
10) Read a little less internet
So, to all my old acquaintances and all my new ones, I wish all of you a very Happy New Year, and if 2008 was great for you, I wish 2009 to be just a great, and if 2008 kind of sucked, well, let’s hope that 2009 can only be better.
Cheers.
2008 brought the successfully completion of my MA, with grades that weren’t quite what I hoped, probably what I deserved, and good enough for me to be content. I finally got to France, and Paris, and the Eiffel Tower, and the Arc de Triomphe, which I have been dreaming about since sixth grade. I developed friendships with some great people, and with these people I traveled to 5 countries (3 on one trip!) and 2 continents. Two of my best friends from the States came to London, and good times and trip to Scotland were had (the good times included the trip to Scotland). I queued in the line for Wimbledon, sat at Centre Court, and had strawberries & crème. I “flew” the London Eye a few times, started to learn the underground and bus system, and began volunteering with some great people. I moved into a new flat, lucked out in the flat mate department, took some deep breaths and begin to make new friends, and I am still in love with London.
I also struggled a lot in 2008, the first struggle being learning how it is to live so far away from friends and family for so long. Then, in September, after seeing the last of my classmates off, I was really alone. I had to take some chances, go to some places by myself, and trust that there are nice people who will like me everywhere. I also struggled mightily on the job front, sending out over 30 applications, and being rejected by all 30. I have never been quite so financially restrained, nor had this tough of a time finding a job. After all when you are rejected by the industry you worked in for four years, you really start to appreciate the times you had a job, a paycheck, and some financial peace of mind.
I never really make official New Years resolutions, and the ones I unofficially make tend to be of the kind that ask of me to sort of change who I am, what I look like, or how I act. I’ve read many places that most New Year’s resolutions have been broken by the third week of January or so. I suspect this is for many reasons, but probably because people view resolutions, as the chance to become a different person, and that, my friends, will nearly always fail. But, I have decided to make a list of things that I’d like to work on for the next year, things that I already am, or can be (or can have or can do), but that require a little patience, a little hard work, and/or a little being open to new possibilities. So, without further adieu, here is my list of things I’ll be working on:
1) Find a job that I will not dread going to work/can pay the bills with (maybe not in that order)
2) Live within my means and start building up my savings
3) Continue to work to build relationships in London
4) Try and keep my room clean (I think this will be on my list for all of eternity, but I work each year to do it)
5) Take French lessons, or at least listen to French podcasts, to begin my journey back to fluency
6) Write and blog on a more regular basis
7) Travel within Europe this year (obviously dependent on numbers 1 & 2)
8) Work to stay in better touch with my friends not in London
9) Read a few more books
10) Read a little less internet
So, to all my old acquaintances and all my new ones, I wish all of you a very Happy New Year, and if 2008 was great for you, I wish 2009 to be just a great, and if 2008 kind of sucked, well, let’s hope that 2009 can only be better.
Cheers.
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